Monday, April 19, 2010

Why the Cubs might finish the season .500

Ricketts Family Improves Clubhouse and Toilets
CHICAGO, Ill. - Yes folks, the Chicago Cubs off-season moves have indeed seemed to make sense so far in this young season. The Cubs (5-7) continue to make mistakes that high-school ballclubs typically do not. The Cubs are well on their way to being flushed right down the division race toilet.

The Cubs continue to be the laughing stock, while the Cardinals have become one of the dynasty teams in the National League. The Cubs improved their restroom facilities, and Cardinals scored Felipe Lopez from the bargain bin late in the offseason. This dude put up a career year last year, hitting .310 between Arizona and Milwaukee. Oh yeah, don't forget they also re-signed Matt Holliday for seven more years at $120 million.

The Cubs core players continue to age just like the old troughs did at Wrigley Field.

Alfonso Soriano has been having knee problems, but he'd better use all the money he's raking in from his eight-year contract to go find the doctor from The Six Million Dollar Man and build him some new ones.

Who knows—it's possible that Soriano goes down with injury this year, and it could be the best thing that ever happened to this club. Not likely though.

So you might ask the question: What does the Cubs lineup look like right now?


Ryan Theriot SS, Kosuke Fukudome RF, Derrek Lee 1B, Aramis Ramirez 3B, Alfonso Soriano LF, Marlon Byrd CF, Geovany Soto C, Jeff Baker 2B.

I regret asking this question.

Hmmm, so lets see, where do you see improvement? Well for one, Jeff Baker shouldn't be an everyday starting second-baseman. The Cubs have thrived on mediocrity at second base since the retirement of Ryne Sandberg.

Since Ryno retired in 1997, here is a look at who we've had play second base. Mickey Morandini (1998-99), Eric Young (2000-01), Delino DeShields (2002), Mark Grudzielanek (2003-04), Todd Walker (2005-06), Mark DeRosa (2007-08), Mike Fontenot (2009).

Third-base was even a bigger joke prior to Aramis Ramirez joining the club. Between Ronnie's last season and the beginning of the Aramis Ramirez Era, the Cubs went through 98 third basemen before finding one that didn't suck.

So sit back and take a look folks, is there really a single player on this team that potentialy could be an all-star? Perhaps. If Aramis Ramirez can stay injury-free he might have a shot. Aside from that we don't have a single all-star caliber player. Guys that could come out of the woodwork include Randy Wells and Marlon Byrd, both guys that the northside of Chicago could soon come to adore. We lauded Mark DeRosa, now it's time to jump on the bandwagon of these two. Honestly, they're the only bright spot we have right now.

Bring your $50 to spend on overpriced beer at the ballgame, we're gonna need every sip of Old-Style to watch this over-priced team.